I have very specific etiquette questions concerning hosting a baby shower. Can you help me?

gift for baby shower hostess etiquette image

christina

There are 4 of us hosting a baby shower. What is the etiquette regarding each of us giving the mother-to-be gifts? I am being told that it is etiquette for the hostesses to give 1 gift as a group. If you have a personal gift that it should not be given during the shower. Is this correct? So far, I have not been able to find protocol on this specific topic.

Answer
Decide as a group what you would like to do. If the majority want to give a gift, then give yours a a separate time. If everyone wants to give their own gift, then problem solved!

What is the etiquette for hosting a "Welcome Baby" party after the birth?

Midwest Mo

A fellow student hosted a baby shower for me and another expectant mother. Unfortunately, only 4 people came and even fewer had time to purchase gifts. Despite the low turnout, many of my friends (fellow students) did want to come but it was too last minute: the hostess decided to throw the shower the same week and sent out invitations via a mass e-mail just 4 days prior. The date also conflicted w/a holiday and our exams. I'll be frank. This has been a difficult pregnancy and I'd to celebrate with my friends. This is my first child and DH and I are both full-time students who live far from family. We "need" many basic baby things. Gifts would be a great help. May I host my own "Welcome Baby" party after the birth? If so, may I invite friends who were also invited to the shower? (Remember: the shower invites were sent via bulk e-mail to the entire department only 4 days in advance.) Or would this be considered a duplicate shower invitation? How would I handle registry information?
Thanks so much for the answers. I especially appreciate that you all appreciate that this is a little tricky. When it comes to events that involve gift-giving (weddings, births, birthdays, etc.) sometimes I find it difficult to distinguish a "shower" from an "open house" type of thing. I've hosted many showers in my day and tend to follow traditional etiquette closely. This is why Iâd feel terribly uncomfortable hosting my own âshowerâ. FYI: the weirdest thing about all this is that in the past few months I've been asked by many of my friends "When is your shower?" Many also offered to "help" plan one. I tried to graciously explain that, to the best of my knowledge a shower wasn't planned. I then referred them to the other folks who had also "offered" to help host one. (You wouldnât believe the number of people who told me that I should host my own! Clueless, I guess.) Also, in my case the shower hostess never asked about my registry or what I needed.
FYI: Everything that I've purchased for the baby (and most of the gifts I've received) were all used/secondhand. I'm a HUGE fan of reducing waste by re-using.

Answer
This is a bit of a pickle.

Invitations to baby parties should be sent out 2 - 3 weeks prior to the party by a little card - not by a mass e-mail invitation - you know people have stuff they plan, giving ample notice would put me on your list.

I understand your need for baby stuff, however, it is not like a wedding where you "register" your gifts. Baby showers are a hit and miss.

I suggest a friend send out the invitations for a welcome baby party, you provide little sandwiches and tea cakes and tea/coffee/soda.

I really love the idea of actually seeing the little baby after the birth, what a neat idea to see newborn rather a bump on your tummy.

Invitations could say something like, "Let's welcome Sarah/David to our world" whatever is appropriate and try to include a little picture.

If you still don't have enough, then try going to second hand stores for baby things. There is nothing wrong with this. Just wash the stuff prior to using.

I wish you the best of luck!

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