Wednesday, January 15, 2014

How do I make my wedding planning special for my sister?

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Melissa


My mom is dying and I am trying to plan my wedding with the hopes that she will still be here for it. My mom also really wants the same thing. My sister, who is a maid of honor is fighting me on everything, ultimately because she is jealous that I will have our mom at my wedding and she wont. How can I make the wedding planning special for her so she stops ruining the big day for everyone?


Answer
Tell your sister that you know why she is so upset over your wedding. Really try to empathize with her. Then do let her know that the best parting gift both of you could give to your mother is to get along famously for the duration of the planning and the wedding. Your mother definitely won't enjoy her last days knowing you two fought like cats over every little thing. However, both of you will be giving her a great gift by going through with the wedding as friends and sisters.

I'm sure your mother feels just as bad that she won't be there for your sister's wedding, whenever that may be. I think both of them should have a talk about that and maybe that will help your sister overcome her understandable feelings.

Ask your mother to videotape something that can be played later when it comes time for your sister to get married.

Ideas on a nice way to recognize my mother during my wedding?




SRG


My dad is walking me down the isle and that is his moment but what about my mom? My mom and dad are divorced and I want to recognize my mom during the wedding too. The catch is my dad is remarried and even though I don't feel the need to recognize my step mom I don't want to hurt her by not singling her out too. I want everybody to know how much she means to me but my step mom take EVERYTHING personally. I am trying to keep the peace.


Answer
If your step mom takes everything personally then it doesn't sound like you are going to please her one way or another - that shouldn't stop you from honoring your mother.
Here is what you could do. You could have your father walk you down the aisle, then when the pastor/officiant says, "Who gives this woman?" have your mother stand up and say, "I do." This way she plays a part in giving you away.
You could always dedicate a special dance to her. When my cousin got married she actually had a mother/daughter dance since her parents were also divorced. It was really sweet and a nice moment for both of them.
I think that's sweet you want to honor your mother on that day.
I had my mother walk me down the aisle, but the night before the wedding I also pulled her aside after everyone had gone home. I gave her a special gift that she really loved. Maybe you could try setting aside some time with your mother the day before or the day of the wedding to say a few nice words. I'm sure you saying something to hear will make her feel honored...




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