carell_200
My great granddaughter died this morning at 2 months old.... Her mother will turn 20 on the 20th of this month, plus christmas is coming soon. How do people handle birthdays and holidays when a baby has just died... I had a baby die years ago but it wasn't during the holidays... I am 3 credits short of a bachelors degree in counseling but dont really know the answer to this... Should you still give a present for the infant... If anyone knows the protocol for something like this, I would appreciate some feedback. Thank you and happy holidays....
I want to clarify what I meant as a gift.... For example... after i lost my baby, I bought an ornament that looked like a cradle and i had my babys' name and birthdate engraved on it as a memorial... That's the kind of gift I was thinking of.... Sorry for not making that clearer...
Answer
This is a hard question, and one I would say that would depend alot on the parents of the child. They will be in deep mourning and may not feel like celebrating anything at all, neither a birthday or Christmas. I would not give a present for the infant unless it was something like, perhaps, a tree planted in their honor or a star named for the child...
Be kind, be supportive of any decision they might make. Do not force them to celebrate any holiday or occassion if they don't want to, but also do not let them fall into depression. Certainly observe your daughter's birthday, and give gifts to the parents for Christmas. A nice remembrance gift in honor the baby would probably be fine.
This is a hard question, and one I would say that would depend alot on the parents of the child. They will be in deep mourning and may not feel like celebrating anything at all, neither a birthday or Christmas. I would not give a present for the infant unless it was something like, perhaps, a tree planted in their honor or a star named for the child...
Be kind, be supportive of any decision they might make. Do not force them to celebrate any holiday or occassion if they don't want to, but also do not let them fall into depression. Certainly observe your daughter's birthday, and give gifts to the parents for Christmas. A nice remembrance gift in honor the baby would probably be fine.
Miscarriage memorial- What kind of tree should I plant for our miscarriage memorial?
Jessica
I just recently suffered from a miscarriage. Our sweet baby's funeral is in a couple of weeks, the hospital performs a burial service for all of the miscarried babies for that month, and the burial site is in the hospital cemetery. We would like to have our own memorial site that is just for our baby. We are going to plant a tree in our yard.
I would like a tree that has beautiful flowers on it. I need ideas of what kind of tree would be good for this though. Help!!
Thank you!
Answer
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.
Five years ago, my first pregnancy was with twins, and there were serious complications -- at 25 weeks, I gave birth to 1 stillborn baby and one who lived only 10 days. Afterwards, we received a weeping cherry tree as a gift from some friends, and planted it in our yard (see images at http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?_adv_prop=image&fr=yfp-t-701&va=weeping+cherry+tree). It's very healthy, and looks great year round, and in the early spring it's covered with beautiful and fragrant light pink cherry blossoms. It attracts birds, bees, and butterflies galore. I would highly recommend the same type of tree. Although expensive, I think, they make nice memorial trees.
Sorry again for your loss!
EDIT -- Although everyone is entitled to their opinions, I disagree with CarbonDated (and you obviously do too, or you wouldn't have asked the question!). The tree we planted does not remind me of my deceased children in a negative way. It's been 5 years -- although I'll never ever forget them, I've grieved, moved on, and healed -- it's not like I burst into tears every time I see the tree (which is every single day). Instead, the tree is a beautiful living thing that inspires me to focus on LIFE, not death. I hope the same will be true for you.
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.
Five years ago, my first pregnancy was with twins, and there were serious complications -- at 25 weeks, I gave birth to 1 stillborn baby and one who lived only 10 days. Afterwards, we received a weeping cherry tree as a gift from some friends, and planted it in our yard (see images at http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?_adv_prop=image&fr=yfp-t-701&va=weeping+cherry+tree). It's very healthy, and looks great year round, and in the early spring it's covered with beautiful and fragrant light pink cherry blossoms. It attracts birds, bees, and butterflies galore. I would highly recommend the same type of tree. Although expensive, I think, they make nice memorial trees.
Sorry again for your loss!
EDIT -- Although everyone is entitled to their opinions, I disagree with CarbonDated (and you obviously do too, or you wouldn't have asked the question!). The tree we planted does not remind me of my deceased children in a negative way. It's been 5 years -- although I'll never ever forget them, I've grieved, moved on, and healed -- it's not like I burst into tears every time I see the tree (which is every single day). Instead, the tree is a beautiful living thing that inspires me to focus on LIFE, not death. I hope the same will be true for you.
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