gift experience baby image
trisha
My sister is having a baby it will be here sometime in august of this next year. She wants me and my husband to adopt the baby. I just don't want her to be able to take the baby from us later in life. Please tell me what I need to do.
Answer
What you do is stop being so damn selfish and instead of trying to take your niece or nephew away from its mom, you help your sister parent the child that she's giving birth to!
Please pass the following information on to your sister:
EITHER PARENT OR ABORT!
DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CHILD TO ADOPTION!
Seriously.
Adoption Truth @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs
Myths told the unmarried mother @ http://gift-not-choice.tripod.com/myths-about-asfa.html
What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby @ http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1
If you know you don't want it now, then get an abortion before it's too late, because if you abandon it, you're screwing it up for life - and probably yourself too. If you don't want to abort, then please do not allow anyone pressure you into abandoning it.
Also, don't listen to anyone suggesting that open adoption is the way to go - it is almost never legally enforceable! Many parents have lost access to their children due to "open" adoption promises. Please read http://lifemothers.com/thewall.html and www.bringperihome.com/ and www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/wish.html and http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100709095305AAjeM4z and http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100830162150AAi478W before listening to the hype.
Taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self: http://www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php
For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right.
(pg 50)
Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory.
(pg 102)
It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun."
(pg 117)
Please, if you're not gonna abort your baby, then make damn sure you parent it. Read http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html - it's by someone who made both choices at different times in her life.
Links that can help you learn how to be able to keep your baby. There are also links that will show you how adoption affects a Mother and her child:
Unplanned Pregnancy without Crisis @ http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
Considering adoption? Don't feel you have any other options? @ http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
Single Mom @ www.singlemom.com/
Mentor Moms/MOPS/Teen MOPS (support!) @ www.mops.org/
Angel Food (food assistance) @ www.angelfoodministries.com/
Feeding America (food assistance) @ www.feedingamerica.org/
Co-Abode (housing assistance) @ www.coabode.com/
Safe Families (for emergency/crisis care) @ www.safe-families.org/
Teens @ www.teenbreaks.com/pregnancy/pregnancyhome.cfm
Concerned United Birthparents @ www.cubirthparents.org
Adoption Crossroads® and Adoption Healing @ www.adoptioncrossroads.org
Adopted Child Syndrome @ www.amfor.net/acs
Origins-USA @ www.origins-usa.org
United Family Services @ www.unitedfamilyservices.org/
Family Assistance Foundation @ www.familyassistancefoundation.com/
Safelink Wireless @ www.safelinkwireless.com/
If you go to a Planned Parenthood clinic that has a low-income program it can be as cheap as 100$. If you tell them you have no job, no money and no support, they will likely have you pay the minimum for the procedure and get donations to cover the rest.
1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526) to find the Planned Parenthood clinic nearest you.
Abortion funding @ www.nnaf.org/help.html
Some state medicaid programmes cover abortion. Go to www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?id=20&compID=64 to find out if your state covers it. If they do, you can go to a welfare office, get emergency coverage, and then the state will help pay for it.
It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do: www.imnotsorry.net/
Abortion: There is a Consensus: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo
Good luck!
What you do is stop being so damn selfish and instead of trying to take your niece or nephew away from its mom, you help your sister parent the child that she's giving birth to!
Please pass the following information on to your sister:
EITHER PARENT OR ABORT!
DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CHILD TO ADOPTION!
Seriously.
Adoption Truth @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs
Myths told the unmarried mother @ http://gift-not-choice.tripod.com/myths-about-asfa.html
What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby @ http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1
If you know you don't want it now, then get an abortion before it's too late, because if you abandon it, you're screwing it up for life - and probably yourself too. If you don't want to abort, then please do not allow anyone pressure you into abandoning it.
Also, don't listen to anyone suggesting that open adoption is the way to go - it is almost never legally enforceable! Many parents have lost access to their children due to "open" adoption promises. Please read http://lifemothers.com/thewall.html and www.bringperihome.com/ and www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/wish.html and http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100709095305AAjeM4z and http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100830162150AAi478W before listening to the hype.
Taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self: http://www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php
For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right.
(pg 50)
Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory.
(pg 102)
It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun."
(pg 117)
Please, if you're not gonna abort your baby, then make damn sure you parent it. Read http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html - it's by someone who made both choices at different times in her life.
Links that can help you learn how to be able to keep your baby. There are also links that will show you how adoption affects a Mother and her child:
Unplanned Pregnancy without Crisis @ http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
Considering adoption? Don't feel you have any other options? @ http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
Single Mom @ www.singlemom.com/
Mentor Moms/MOPS/Teen MOPS (support!) @ www.mops.org/
Angel Food (food assistance) @ www.angelfoodministries.com/
Feeding America (food assistance) @ www.feedingamerica.org/
Co-Abode (housing assistance) @ www.coabode.com/
Safe Families (for emergency/crisis care) @ www.safe-families.org/
Teens @ www.teenbreaks.com/pregnancy/pregnancyhome.cfm
Concerned United Birthparents @ www.cubirthparents.org
Adoption Crossroads® and Adoption Healing @ www.adoptioncrossroads.org
Adopted Child Syndrome @ www.amfor.net/acs
Origins-USA @ www.origins-usa.org
United Family Services @ www.unitedfamilyservices.org/
Family Assistance Foundation @ www.familyassistancefoundation.com/
Safelink Wireless @ www.safelinkwireless.com/
If you go to a Planned Parenthood clinic that has a low-income program it can be as cheap as 100$. If you tell them you have no job, no money and no support, they will likely have you pay the minimum for the procedure and get donations to cover the rest.
1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526) to find the Planned Parenthood clinic nearest you.
Abortion funding @ www.nnaf.org/help.html
Some state medicaid programmes cover abortion. Go to www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?id=20&compID=64 to find out if your state covers it. If they do, you can go to a welfare office, get emergency coverage, and then the state will help pay for it.
It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do: www.imnotsorry.net/
Abortion: There is a Consensus: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo
Good luck!
What should I get my soon to be mother in law for the parental gift for my wedding?
Brittany
Okay, I heard its proper to get your bridal party gifts for thanking them but also your parents and the grooms parents. Now, I can do that no problem except for my fiancees mom. I have no idea what she wants. Everything we have gotten her just sits around collecting dust, as if she doesn't like it or something. Honestly I don't think she even really likes me? Haha, but thats besides the point.
Answer
Firstly, it seems as though the fact that you think your future mother in law doesn't like you really IS something you care about. I can empathise, as I have had a similar experience with the whole of my husband's family. I can also understand the gift thing - I have spent thousands of dollars on gifts for my MIL and, although she's graciously accepted the, she's never seemed to LOVE any of them. However, the one gift I gave her that really helped was a gift certificate for a massage (you could also do facial, manicure, etc). I don't know what your budget is, but you could get her a gift certificate for a mani/pedi for the two of you - it would be a great way for you to get to know her a bit better and everyone likes to feel pampered.
I would also add that your mother is law is about to see her "baby" get married - mothers have a really hard time with this. Write her a nice card to go with your gift, something like "I know planning this wedding has been stressful for you, and I want you to know how much your support means to me. I'm looking forward to becoming a part of your family - you deserve some "you" time, I hope you enjoy this massage" etc. Trust me, she will appreciate it and it will make you feel closer to her!
Good luck, and congratuations on your upcoming wedding!
Firstly, it seems as though the fact that you think your future mother in law doesn't like you really IS something you care about. I can empathise, as I have had a similar experience with the whole of my husband's family. I can also understand the gift thing - I have spent thousands of dollars on gifts for my MIL and, although she's graciously accepted the, she's never seemed to LOVE any of them. However, the one gift I gave her that really helped was a gift certificate for a massage (you could also do facial, manicure, etc). I don't know what your budget is, but you could get her a gift certificate for a mani/pedi for the two of you - it would be a great way for you to get to know her a bit better and everyone likes to feel pampered.
I would also add that your mother is law is about to see her "baby" get married - mothers have a really hard time with this. Write her a nice card to go with your gift, something like "I know planning this wedding has been stressful for you, and I want you to know how much your support means to me. I'm looking forward to becoming a part of your family - you deserve some "you" time, I hope you enjoy this massage" etc. Trust me, she will appreciate it and it will make you feel closer to her!
Good luck, and congratuations on your upcoming wedding!
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