gift for premature baby in nicu image
S123
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Your Undecided QuestionShow me another »
Please help me. I have no one to turn to. My parents fought with me.thinking non stop. Need advice.have newbor?
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Is what my parents did justified? I have a narcissistic mom. Please help me. Was i so wrong?
My parents were here to help me during pregnancy, we live in usa and they in india. Well, they helped but also made me miserable. They wanted to go out all the time, go shopping etc and i was very high risk on strict bedrest at home. Hey wud go alone in cold weathr, catch a cold, would keep the home temp very high and wud go out every single day with my brother. When we told thm we didn want chaos so not to invite my bro here every single day or avoid cold as i cud catch it as well they wud make a long face.
We went on hospital bedrest in the end and on the day of surgery asked them to come in the evening. When they came they again made a face. Next day mom said she caught a cold at the hosp and wont be coming again. She said my dad n bro can come. She said shes not well so wont be able to cook also tat day. I said whats the point baby is in nicu and i met you 3 yday. If u r not coming then no point dad n bro making a 1 hr drive to just see me again that too without food.
Well 2 days later she said she has bad cold and wants to leave earlier for india etc i was upset i said my baby is premature n weak only 5 lbs so if u have cold then go to bros place 15 mins from mine n recover if he catches cold it can be fatal.
She said she has done so much for me n i hud be humble etc n i said in anger mom even u had a vacation along with helping me.
She lost it n said dad n bro felt terrible u didnt let them com to hospital. I started crying n she blasted me n started abusing me n my husband. I hung up and sent an email to my bros to let them know what happened. The next morning my dad blasted me, said horrible things that we dont want to keep a relation with u etc etc. It seems that night my moms blood pressure went too high so dad thot she will get heart attack.
My husband n i said after so much abuse u hve to stay with brother now n they moved.
Then they hardly helped me after csction n preponed to india n left.
My mum is very nacisstic, partial to her sons and instigates dad. Dad gets instigated easily even tho he loves me. My firs child i lost in the 9 th month 2 yrs ago so we were very careful this time.
I wan to know if their behvior was justified, especially dads bcoz my mum is psycho has lwys been. They sid sorry but no without blaming us for their behavior.
2 hours ago - 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
Iforgot to add that my poor premature baby was in the bedroom 4 days later when they again fought with us in the living room when tey gave us gift money and we didnt accept. They put wrong accusations and fought a lot my dad mom n bro whie the other bro supported us.
They slammed the door n left.
2 hours ago
I got so stressed that my milk dried up n i cud not breastfeed my baby.
After surgery i was getting up and moving cooking etc with hubby bcoz thy hardly helped n werent evn living with us anymore. After 15 days they started coming every day to cook for an hour or so.
Why is my dad like that
Answer
First of all I think there should be a lot of leeway given to new moms who just had a c-section. It's scary because you don't feel well and on top of that you have this new responsibility which is pretty frightening as well. As you said, however, your mom is more concerned with herself than with you. She might also have been afraid for you with bed rest and surgery it could have been her way of dealing with fear. A lot of really proud people deal with fear by getting angry. So, take what she said with a grain of salt (not very seriously).
As you know, you can't change people. They have to want that for themselves. If possible, treat her
kindly or don't talk to her at all. Just do what is right for you so you can get better. As a husband you Dad's job is to support your Mom but let her know (privately) if she's being a little nuts which he isn't doing. He's probably just used to the nuts part (lived with it a loooong time) and if he says anything she probably makes his life miserable so you can't really blame him.
Do you have any friends or neighbors to lean on? I hope maybe someone else will step in and give you some help around the house and some emotional support. Fortunately, your Mom is far away so you can heal in peace. Best wishes for you and the new baby! Get well and enjoy your family. :)
First of all I think there should be a lot of leeway given to new moms who just had a c-section. It's scary because you don't feel well and on top of that you have this new responsibility which is pretty frightening as well. As you said, however, your mom is more concerned with herself than with you. She might also have been afraid for you with bed rest and surgery it could have been her way of dealing with fear. A lot of really proud people deal with fear by getting angry. So, take what she said with a grain of salt (not very seriously).
As you know, you can't change people. They have to want that for themselves. If possible, treat her
kindly or don't talk to her at all. Just do what is right for you so you can get better. As a husband you Dad's job is to support your Mom but let her know (privately) if she's being a little nuts which he isn't doing. He's probably just used to the nuts part (lived with it a loooong time) and if he says anything she probably makes his life miserable so you can't really blame him.
Do you have any friends or neighbors to lean on? I hope maybe someone else will step in and give you some help around the house and some emotional support. Fortunately, your Mom is far away so you can heal in peace. Best wishes for you and the new baby! Get well and enjoy your family. :)
Please help feeling very very sad confused because of my parents?
S123
S123
Your Open QuestionShow me another »
Please help me. I have no one to turn to. My parents fought with me.thinking non stop. Need advice.have newbor?
S123
Your Open QuestionShow me another »
Is what my parents did justified? I have a narcissistic mom. Please help me. Was i so wrong?
My parents were here to help me during pregnancy, we live in usa and they in india. Well, they helped but also made me miserable. They wanted to go out all the time, go shopping etc and i was very high risk on strict bedrest at home. Hey wud go alone in cold weathr, catch a cold, would keep the home temp very high and wud go out every single day with my brother. When we told thm we didn want chaos so not to invite my bro here every single day or avoid cold as i cud catch it as well they wud make a long face.
We went on hospital bedrest in the end and on the day of surgery asked them to come in the evening. When they came they again made a face. Next day mom said she caught a cold at the hosp and wont be coming again. She said my dad n bro can come. She said shes not well so wont be able to cook also tat day. I said whats the point baby is in nicu and i met you 3 yday. If u r not coming then no point dad n bro making a 1 hr drive to just see me again that too without food.
Well 2 days later she said she has bad cold and wants to leave earlier for india etc i was upset i said my baby is premature n weak only 5 lbs so if u have cold then go to bros place 15 mins from mine n recover if he catches cold it can be fatal.
She said she has done so much for me n i hud be humble etc n i said in anger mom even u had a vacation along with helping me.
She lost it n said dad n bro felt terrible u didnt let them com to hospital. I started crying n she blasted me n started abusing me n my husband. I hung up and sent an email to my bros to let them know what happened. The next morning my dad blasted me, said horrible things that we dont want to keep a relation with u etc etc. It seems that night my moms blood pressure went too high so dad thot she will get heart attack.
My husband n i said after so much abuse u hve to stay with brother now n they moved.
Then they hardly helped me after csction n preponed to india n left.
My mum is very nacisstic, partial to her sons and instigates dad. Dad gets instigated easily even tho he loves me. My firs child i lost in the 9 th month 2 yrs ago so we were very careful this time.
I wan to know if their behvior was justified, especially dads bcoz my mum is psycho has lwys been. They sid sorry but no without blaming us for their behavior.
2 hours ago - 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
Iforgot to add that my poor premature baby was in the bedroom 4 days later when they again fought with us in the living room when tey gave us gift money and we didnt accept. They put wrong accusations and fought a lot my dad mom n bro whie the other bro supported us.
They slammed the door n left.
2 hours ago
I got so stressed that my milk dried up n i cud not breastfeed my baby.
After surgery i was getting up and moving cooking etc with hubby bcoz thy hardly helped n werent evn living with us anymore. After 15 days they started coming every day to cook fo us.
Answer
Some times even USA parents are that way. But you are in/of India where the man is always above the woman! In India woman are even still sold to men as wives! One time a lady escaped India and made it to the USA. She did Not want to be sold. Yet male coz.s found her ans sold her to a man in N.J., USA! Did you let your dad pick a husband for you Or find your own?
Your child is premature - in their eyes a shame. You have not named it sex; but most likely female, shameful to too many in India! You might point out to your parents, especially mom, that mom was born a girl! If she can be so controlling now; what makes her thinks so little of a baby girl? And that men can Not get married unless there are girls/ladies to marry!
(When China decided to become Communist, it passed a law making it illegal to have more than one child; because they are so over populated. Every one wanted sons! So when girls were born, most were killed! After all this generation grew up, there were hardly any girls/ladies to married all the boys/men! So tons of families have met their end!)
Why did they force an C-section on you, causing it to be premature? DId they not care what happened to the baby or you, in fear/stupidity that it may be a girl? Maybe they need to be arrested!
Ask your husband to stand up for both of you! Leave your parents out of your Future! They are stressing, controlling, and hurting You way too much! But Do Not hate them! Hate will cause tons more problems! If they demand respect,(or what they want) point out that one(s) get respect have to be respectful to others- full time- themselves!
They certainly do Not know what Love is either!
They are the hating type. Do Not become like them!
When you and your husband have a son; do not even tell them. If they find out and ask why you did not tell them; point out that You do not want their hate in your children.
Some times even USA parents are that way. But you are in/of India where the man is always above the woman! In India woman are even still sold to men as wives! One time a lady escaped India and made it to the USA. She did Not want to be sold. Yet male coz.s found her ans sold her to a man in N.J., USA! Did you let your dad pick a husband for you Or find your own?
Your child is premature - in their eyes a shame. You have not named it sex; but most likely female, shameful to too many in India! You might point out to your parents, especially mom, that mom was born a girl! If she can be so controlling now; what makes her thinks so little of a baby girl? And that men can Not get married unless there are girls/ladies to marry!
(When China decided to become Communist, it passed a law making it illegal to have more than one child; because they are so over populated. Every one wanted sons! So when girls were born, most were killed! After all this generation grew up, there were hardly any girls/ladies to married all the boys/men! So tons of families have met their end!)
Why did they force an C-section on you, causing it to be premature? DId they not care what happened to the baby or you, in fear/stupidity that it may be a girl? Maybe they need to be arrested!
Ask your husband to stand up for both of you! Leave your parents out of your Future! They are stressing, controlling, and hurting You way too much! But Do Not hate them! Hate will cause tons more problems! If they demand respect,(or what they want) point out that one(s) get respect have to be respectful to others- full time- themselves!
They certainly do Not know what Love is either!
They are the hating type. Do Not become like them!
When you and your husband have a son; do not even tell them. If they find out and ask why you did not tell them; point out that You do not want their hate in your children.
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