amber h
One of my students died from Cystic Fibrosis and is having a funeral this Saturday- I would like to go, but doubt I could get a sitter- My family never really trained me the whole formal manner thing- (example: at my baby shower I didn't even think to show everyone the gifts). I have been to a lot of funerals, but do not remember if anyone every brought infants or not- especially ones that were not immediate family- any advise would be much appreciated and possibly help me avoid a socially disgraceful situation
Answer
I don't know about being distasteful, but you'd be better off trying to get a sitter if you can. It's not that bringing a baby to a funeral is bad, babies cause distractions when they cry and funerals are about focusing on the life of the deceased and their family. If you can't find a sitter, take the baby with you to the visitation before the funeral and express your condolences there, since visitations are less formal than the funeral itself.
I don't know about being distasteful, but you'd be better off trying to get a sitter if you can. It's not that bringing a baby to a funeral is bad, babies cause distractions when they cry and funerals are about focusing on the life of the deceased and their family. If you can't find a sitter, take the baby with you to the visitation before the funeral and express your condolences there, since visitations are less formal than the funeral itself.
Correct way to word wedding invite so that gifts will go to charity?
maybe_kath
Older couple getting married have all the things they want (well established) and would like many people to share the wedding without bringing a gift. What is the correct wording to ask that their presence is wanted but if they want to give a gift to give it a favorite charity of theirs in the couples name
Answer
Kathy, we did something similar on the arrival of an adopted baby.
We added "Please, no gifts, but we hope you will stop by to see the baby, and to have a cup of coffee with us! We'd love it!"
With older folks the gifts tend to be funny, and not anything that is needed. I would leave it with
"no gifts please"
When my parents celebrated their 50th anniversary, they really didn't want a fuss, so I got their address book and I wrote to everyone asking them to send Mom and Dad a card. I said "Please, no gifts...just a card letting Mom and Dad know how you are doing." That was a complete success. Cards rolled in. One or two sent token gifts, but the cards were better than any gifts because they came from so many dear, older friends.
People are funny about not sending flowers at a funeral too, but when you say in lieu of flowers, most forget to donate to a charity.
I agree with others who have said it might be best to leave any directions of how to give a gift, after you ask for no gifts. Hopefully, no matter what you decide to do, friends of the older couple will simply be overjoyed that they have found each other and are getting married. You will do the right thing!
Kathy, we did something similar on the arrival of an adopted baby.
We added "Please, no gifts, but we hope you will stop by to see the baby, and to have a cup of coffee with us! We'd love it!"
With older folks the gifts tend to be funny, and not anything that is needed. I would leave it with
"no gifts please"
When my parents celebrated their 50th anniversary, they really didn't want a fuss, so I got their address book and I wrote to everyone asking them to send Mom and Dad a card. I said "Please, no gifts...just a card letting Mom and Dad know how you are doing." That was a complete success. Cards rolled in. One or two sent token gifts, but the cards were better than any gifts because they came from so many dear, older friends.
People are funny about not sending flowers at a funeral too, but when you say in lieu of flowers, most forget to donate to a charity.
I agree with others who have said it might be best to leave any directions of how to give a gift, after you ask for no gifts. Hopefully, no matter what you decide to do, friends of the older couple will simply be overjoyed that they have found each other and are getting married. You will do the right thing!
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