tomi27410
Traditional gifts/ gifts you've given that have been well received... etc...
good ideas.. keep 'em coming... and dinner is in the works... :)
Answer
Your gift should be timeless....something that can be passed on from generation to generation......a heirloom....maybe a really nice watch or a piece of jewellery....a solitaire maybe !
Also depends on your budget!
Your gift should be timeless....something that can be passed on from generation to generation......a heirloom....maybe a really nice watch or a piece of jewellery....a solitaire maybe !
Also depends on your budget!
My mom's getting married. My grandparents are being finicky about etiquette.?
Viki
Obviously, it's a second marriage - the first ended in disaster and there is no longer any contact at all with the first husband, so he's not an issue.
My mom is really happy (and I'm really happy for her), she's found a great guy who loves her and helps her and is all around just a really great person and incredible match for her. Her parents act like they're happy for her, but they are strongly discouraging my mom from sending wedding invitations to her relatives. They are saying that it would be inappropriate to send invitations, since it's a second wedding. They want to attend, they just don't want invites sent out to all the relatives. I'm not sure why they would think this or what is an appropriate response. My mom thought that it would be inappropriate to exclude anyone by not sending an invitation, and that people could obviously decline attending if they so chose. But my grandparents remain adamant that it would be highly inappropriate (they keep using that word) to send invitations, and that the closest appropriate option would be to send a quiet announcement (preferably not even a printed one, rather a word-of-mouth announcement for them to spread) after the marriage has taken place. I am appalled at that option. Any ideas? Is there actually some piece of etiquette that says you can't invite relatives to second weddings? If so, wouldn't that be highly antiquated in today's society?
Yeah, that's what I thought... and no, she's not having a big white wedding, it'll be pretty toned down, but a wedding none the less. She wanted a pink dress at her first wedding, but her parents wouldn't hear of it back then... she's going for the pink dress this time (it's a light pearly pink, it's actually a bridesmaids dress) with a small veil trimmed with pink edging. I think it's perfect. I am rather indignant at my grandparents' attitude... as I suppose you can tell.
Answer
I don't know how old your grandparents are; likely in their 60's-70's, I should think. Anyway, in their generation, re-marriage after divorce was considered to be somewhat scandalous, and it was unthinkable, inappropriate, for someone whose first marriage had ended in divorce to have a big, whoop-di-doo second wedding. A small ceremony with only the most immediate family members in attendance, and the bride wearing somewhat upscale every-day attire was considered appropriate.
Your grandparents may also be somewhat concerned that your mother's invitations may be perceived as a "gimme-grab" solicitation for gifts. There's somewhat of a sentiment that if either member of the couple to be married has previously had a wedding with all the trimmings and received wedding gifts from family members at the first wedding they had, it's not fair to "dun" family invitees for a gift the second time around. I would go so far as to say that your mom should de-emphasize the gift-giving aspect of her wedding, and not have a registry or otherwise indicate an expectation of gifts. If any of the relatives invited to the second wedding gave particularly lavish gifts for the first wedding, or have indicated any distaste for giving gifts the second time around, I'd go so far as to suggest that the bride's parents let these invitees know that your mom only wants the gift of their presence at her wedding and their good wishes to her are gift enough.
I'm with others that as long as your mom uses common sense and good taste in planning her wedding, she's to be congratulated for finding love "the second time around." Good luck to her and I hope she has a fabulous wedding.
I don't know how old your grandparents are; likely in their 60's-70's, I should think. Anyway, in their generation, re-marriage after divorce was considered to be somewhat scandalous, and it was unthinkable, inappropriate, for someone whose first marriage had ended in divorce to have a big, whoop-di-doo second wedding. A small ceremony with only the most immediate family members in attendance, and the bride wearing somewhat upscale every-day attire was considered appropriate.
Your grandparents may also be somewhat concerned that your mother's invitations may be perceived as a "gimme-grab" solicitation for gifts. There's somewhat of a sentiment that if either member of the couple to be married has previously had a wedding with all the trimmings and received wedding gifts from family members at the first wedding they had, it's not fair to "dun" family invitees for a gift the second time around. I would go so far as to say that your mom should de-emphasize the gift-giving aspect of her wedding, and not have a registry or otherwise indicate an expectation of gifts. If any of the relatives invited to the second wedding gave particularly lavish gifts for the first wedding, or have indicated any distaste for giving gifts the second time around, I'd go so far as to suggest that the bride's parents let these invitees know that your mom only wants the gift of their presence at her wedding and their good wishes to her are gift enough.
I'm with others that as long as your mom uses common sense and good taste in planning her wedding, she's to be congratulated for finding love "the second time around." Good luck to her and I hope she has a fabulous wedding.
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